Alriiiiiiiighty folks! This should be a fun one! Super Smash Bros is one of my favourite videogame franchises hands down. While many casual players (being almost all male, 98% of them) stop playing after the buzz dies down after a year or two or because life intervenes, it’s only natural that one cannot play every single minute of every day and will have other hobbies they like doing unless you’re one of those guys that compete for a living and that is all they do. Admittedly, I’m sure that many of them are intelligent but I cannot condone such a hobby being pursued all day, every day. I mean personally, I used to play Brawl almost every day in highschool for a good few hours because it was fun on the Wii until the discs began freezing and Smash Wii U and Ultimate came out but even then I did not enjoy Wii U as much so I kept playing Brawl until I was truly annoyed and gave up because the disc could not be read anymore. I will admit I don’t know how professional smash fighters get so good and still don’t understand the button-combos and different techniques they use to play so well but that’s not my style. I personally feel there are more constructive hobbies to get really good at, hey I’m not judging the Smashers, if that’s what they love doing, good for them, but I know really good technical players in my family who even know when it’s time to change pace every now and then. I consider myself a really good casual player, and whatever, the pros can point their noses up at me from their high horses and call me an amateur compared to them but being a very good casual player is still something I can feel good about. There is one player I consider my true equal because battles between us can go either my way or his way and either one of us can consistently be winning more or losing more at any given time while playing any sort of matches in Smash: that is my brother. We more or less win and lose at about the same rate. Admittedly, he has a handle on more characters than I do and can pick up their movesets more ably. I have even admitted to others and myself that he has an edge over me so I think he actually is a better player but hey, I’m a close second. And that’s okay. If you ever read this bro, this is a shout out to your skills haha. Only one player in my extended family is actually so good, he’s a technical player and he can play among the pros, and that is my cousin. You know who you are haha. Shout out to you too cuz. Without further ado, let’s get into which SSB is the top of them all.

Super Smash Bros

The one that started them all. Every Smash game has its own unique tone. The first one came out for Nintendo 64, way back in 99’ and the 64 console was very clearly made for kids in mind. The different colours that the 64 came in and the kid-friendly graphics and box art that the games came in are 90s nostalgia to the max. The N64 was like a dream come true, literally. The in-game worlds of N64 games felt dreamlike and such well known examples include Mario 64, Ocarina of Time, and Banjo-Kazooie. They were just made to make a kid’s mind go wild with excitement. I feel sorry for any kid who did not live through the glory days of the N64. Games likes Mario Kart 64, Mario Party, and of course the titular game of this post drew in the insatiable curiosities of kids and I’m sure it was because of Mario. Heck, that’s what drew me in to the first game, seeing Mario’s big face on the box art and no one else haha. I actually thought it was a Mario game featuring Pikachu because he was there too and I had no idea who Link, Samus, Kirby, or Fox were at the time: the game that introduced us to characters that we had no idea about unless you played the original NES or Gameboy. The intro to the game proves it was aimed for kids because it shows a kid’s bedroom and a white glove as it snaps its fingers and then we see any of the game’s 8 original fighters as dolls and brought to life. We then see Smash’s first ever opening montage and hear its accompanying theme. While not the most iconic theme, it is memorable nonetheless and sounds like a score John Williams would create for a videogame: simple but iconically memorable as he did for Superman, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, and Harry Potter. Great themes sure and very iconic but are they the best? Not at all. Forthcoming scores would greatly overshadow this one as was done especially with Melee and Brawl. We then enter the main menu which I must say is the most oddest part of the game. The menu music can barely be called music and is just a few notes here and there but it is neither happy nor sad nor scary nor exciting. You just feel like you’re there in a factory, tinkering around or something haha. Not very inviting though if you’re playing the game in the dark in your room by yourself. You feel alone haha. Then we get into the vs mode and start with 8 players. Smash veterans know who they are so I’m not gonna list them. Each of them are well-balanced, it’s the 4 new characters that are odd. Ness is a bit hard to control for beginners, Jigglypuff doesn’t have much attack range, and Luigi’s horizontal jumping is atrocious, he’s clumsy, and his attacks are nowhere near good as Mario’s. Your best bet is the Falc Man. The sound effects of pummeling each other are hilarious and is very cartoony, as you hear the OHHHH! when you go flying. All the levels are great, and they all start small and compact. Enough room to fight. And fittingly enough each level has the main theme from their respective games play except for Gourmet Race from Kirby Super Star appear instead of Green Greens from the first level Green Greens in Kirby’s Dream Land . Not a single level or song is annoying nor is any character. Red Kirby used to be my main in the original Smash before I moved onto Mario in Brawl. Now let’s talk about 1P mode. Sadly, Board the Platforms is a relic of the past but understandably so because they wanted to make Smash more challenging. OG Smash was really for 6-8 year olds. Its sequel though, was for the big boys but we’ll get to that. Break the Targets was kept and both challenges were fun but BTT was harder than BTP hence why it was kept around. Race to the Finish was also fun but again, kid’s stuff. The Metal Battle however and its accompanying theme is downright KICKASS. You could feel the suspense as you felt like it took forever to take down the metal menace that was Mario. The 1P of SSB is great because of the variety of your challenges including Giant opponents and a team of many of the same character. The final challenge in 1P was Master Hand. Admittedly, I was scared not of him, but to face him when I was kid around 7 or 8 years old. Cool final boss, I’m sure every one has theorized that Master Hand is actually the hand of the kid in the bedroom controlling and fighting his puppets. The OG Smash will always have the privilege and honor of being the first to set the stage of things to come and immediately earns its place high because of being the father of the Smash games and therefore earns 1 point but is it the best??? Behold, I say thee nay. Melee wants it to hold its beer.

Super Smash Bros Melee

Some sequels really up the ante and the best ones are those similar to the tone of the first but brings even more to the table. Such examples include but are not limited to: Toy Story 2, Spiderman 2, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, and The Empire Strikes Back. Well, Melee really and I mean REEEEAAAALLLY overachieved. Them developers at Hal Labs really wanted to deliver a sequel and MAAAAAAAAAN they did not miss the mark. Only 2 years after the first released did this gem of a game come out. I remember I was in 4th grade and hearing about kids playing it and playing it a few times at other kids’ houses until we got it for Christmas the next year. I remember playing it all the time when we visited my cousin. Those were the days. Among the other Gamecube games we had were Double Dash, Mario Sunshine, Luigi’s Mansion, and Metroid Prime 1 and 2. None interested me except SSBM, DD bored me quick, as did LM and Sunshine was too hard to beat. I think a year later we got Gameboy Advance SPs, I had the Flame Red, my brother the Cobalt Blue and few years later my other brother got the Platinum Silver. Good…….effing……… TIMES BRO! Gamecube was Nintendo’s last great console in my opinion until the Switch and I don’t know what it was like for the portables- I feel like it was Nintendo DS. Anyways, I digress! The intro to Melee……bro. Easily the best intro of any of the Smashes: the dramatic intro as Mario is thrown into the sky, then lands, as we get a close-up shot of Mario with a ring of flame going up his face as he then comes to life and faces off with Link, Kirby, and Pikachu. The theme itself in the intro is not an easy one to hum or whistle or is even a memorable one because the tune changes throughout but what is very memorable are the scenes of the characters which show imagery of their respective lore. The main theme for SSBM for me has to be the Menu theme. SSBM has this tone of sophistication that feels like its more mature than its predecessor and the Menu theme feels like you’re about to begin a tournament. A cool theme but not friendly. After playing the game for a bit, the theme wears you down because its so serious. Menu 2 on the other hand which is a mix of the Menu theme and opening theme is much more welcoming but you can only achieve it after unlocking all characters and stages but you have to beat all 51 events in Event Matches (which is a feat unto itself) to unlock Final Destination. That’s the one thing that separates Melee from the other games- its difficulty, which makes it worthy of playing. All the following games were dumbed down if I’m to be honest. Two really cool new additions to Melee were the Adventure and All-Star Modes in 1P. Adventure Mode was a precursor to the Subspace Emissary in Brawl. A more expanded and upgraded version of Classic Mode, Adventure Mode was more immersive, interactive, and mission-based. Missions included navigating the maze inside Hyrule Temple, beating the time on Zebes before it blew up, and not getting hit by F-zero racers in F-Zero Grand Prix. The cool part about Adventure Mode is that instead of facing Master Hand which you already do in Classic Mode, you get to face Bowser and if you’re lucky, Giga Bowser. Same goes for Classic Mode, if you’re lucky enough, you meet Master Hand’s compadre Crazy Hand who does live up to his name. All-Star Mode is unlocked by unlocking all the characters and you fight every character in random order, as you begin fighting one, and it increases to 4 until you battle 25 Game and Watches at the end. The challenging aspect of it is that your damage does not renew with each battle but there are 3 Heart Containers to take if needed. Other cool features introduced in 1P mode for this game are Home-Run Contest (batting a sandbag after giving it damage to see how far it can go) and Multi-Man Melee (fighting the cronies of Smash and seeing how many you can knock out and ranges from 10 to 100 to Cruel Melee where they will knock you the F out if your A-game ain’t on) and has 2 kickass themes to fight in while kicking ass. In Multiplayer, a new variation called Special Melee is introduced where you can modify and play Tiny Smash, Giant Smash, Super Sudden Death, and Stamina which became a fun and popular one in following games. The Event Matches are the most worthwhile thing of Melee- sure unlocking all the stages and characters is fun too but it feels more tedious. The Events could get truly frustrating and increased with difficulty the higher the event got. It felt like fighting Level 10 CPUs, honestly. Many rage quit moments are recalled. Some like Event 18 (Link’s Adventure) were really difficult (at the time I was still honing my skills, Brawl truly helped me do that) so I got my ass kicked many times. It’s starting at Event 47 things can make you really mad as Event 48 (Pikachu and Pichu) brings memories of frustration till no tomorrow and things just get harder from there. Once Event 50 and 51 are beaten, it is truly a medal accomplishment. The only way to get as good as Level 9s was facing them so that is what I did. Oh I remember getting my ass kicked so hard and thrown around like a rag doll in my rookie years, but I eventually caught up to them and was able to give them a taste of their medicine oh so satisfyingly. I know that the fighting mechanics between Brawl and Melee are different but not so different so I practiced against the 9s in that game so I could pummel the 9s in Melee with ease but that proved difficult because I became so accustomed to Brawl’s way of fighting that I once again became a noob in Melee’s ways. The last points I want to talk about for this section are the new characters and new/improved stages. Increasing from 12 to 26 characters, some great new additions included Bowser, Ganondorf, Young Link, Falco, Mewtwo, and Roy. I got no complaints about any of the stages which have great orchestral/electronic remixes. Most of the songs are just upgraded versions of original songs and not over-the-top, overzealous, remixes that Wii U and Ultimate are known for. Great and simple remixes. Hyrule Temple is the G.O.A.T. of all stages. A great place to play 10-stock matches. The Final Destination stage has a fitting theme for a final fight but it is trumped by the Brawl Final D theme. Melee was the revolutionizer for the Smash series and for that earns a point, along with its stages, Hyrule Temple alone, Event Matches, and its challenging difficulty. 5 points to Gryffindor…er… I mean…..SSBM. Hang on………!!! I almost forgot one other really neat element that Melee introduced- trophies! While Brawl and Melee both have impressive trophy collections that didn’t go overboard with quantity and felt earned, sadly, while Melee has a great collection, Brawl has a slightly better one although the fact that Melee collects Classic, Adventure, and All-Star trophies for every character is pretty damn cool. Melee made you work hard for its unlockables damn it! I can’t say that for Wii U and Ultimate which both became ridiculous. A sixth point to Melee. Let’s see if Brawl can top it.

Super Smash Bros Brawl

AUDI FAMAN! ILLIUS! Man oh man. That theme is on a level above the one from Melee. Who’s idea was it to go that hard for an intro theme? It actually has lyrics about a legendary warrior. Hal labs really stepped it up here. Brawl has the best intro theme hands down. While Wii U and Ultimate have cool distinctive themes once one becomes familiar with them, they sound almost similar. Brawl’s theme is truly unique and what makes it even more awesome is that there’s variations of it EVERYWHERE and I mean everywhere. Check this: Battlefield, Boss Battles, Multi-Man Brawls, Final Destination, Target Practice, Coin Launcher, Trophy Gallery, and Photo Gallery all use a variation of the theme. The theme from Brawl is THE theme to define all Smashes and one that joins the ranks of iconic Nintendo themes. The graphics stepped up significantly and all the stages are fun, yes even you Hanenbow. Of all the games, Brawl easily has the best soundtrack because of the killer remixes. Brawl is the perfect example of quality over quantity but it also has a good balance- a lot of songs but just enough that it’s not overwhelming and overdone where there’s too many versions of one song. The developers for Brawl really took their time in remixing original songs in such a way that make them sound so awesome and memorable. Unfortunately for Wii U and Ultimate they kept tampering with some of them and made them sound less good and too many to keep track of. A perfect example of this is the Fire Emblem theme from Melee but in this case it was changed slightly in Brawl. I can’t explain it and I’m not going to do a music analysis but search up the Melee and Brawl versions of that theme and you’ll notice the difference. The original remix came back in Ultimate. Some awesome remixes from Brawl include Corneria, Spear Pillar, Gourmet Race, and Mute City to name a few. Now lets move on to the features Brawl has. As you can see I already listed almost all of them while talking about where the variations of where the main theme play. Multi-Man Melee has changed to Multi-Man Brawl. Trophies are back and this time there’s a larger collection but still just small enough where you can attempt to want to collect them and appreciate them. Its qualitative and you can even learn cool things from the descriptions beside them like what their main roles from their original games are and what games they first appeared in. Haters can say what they want about the fighting mechanics of Brawl but where Melee set the foundation of how Smash games would be in the future, without Brawl, Smash never would’ve been revolutionized. The Final D theme is uncontested because of just how BADASS it is. It is a true boss theme. That takes us to the Subspace Emissary which is the Adventure Mode for Brawl and it is amazing. While some may hate the tediousness of having to travel through long stages, I think it’s fun- battling all the different variety of enemies, meeting all the characters along the way, fighting cool bosses, and the best part, that it has an actual damn story. Not to mention Tabuu who doesn’t say much but we can’t deny it’s a sick boss battle and his design is pretty cool which reminds me of Dr. Manhattan. Come on. People, you must realize. Without Brawl, we would not have the pleasure of Ultimate today which really is just a super-improved version of Wii U which acted like a beta. In terms of the fighting, the Dpad’s ability for smash attacks is a helpful addition which makes for fighting even more fun and then there’s the Assist Trophies, but WAIT THERE’S MORE: THE FINAL FUCKING SMASHES, new features to define the way how Smash is played. You think Assist Trophies are awesome, where you can smash a container containing characters who then attack your opponents? That’s all good and all but Final Smashes, where you hit a Smash Ball which then unlocks a “Final Smash” was really what got people intrigued in this 3rd incarnation of the Smash franchise which is already a classic. 16 years old, can you believe it? Some awesome new additions for characters in this game are Pokemon Trainer and being able to switch between Charizard, Squirtle, and Ivysaur; Ike, who’s a Fire Emblem favourite and freaking powerhouse; Lucario, Diddy Kong, Snake, Meta Knight, Toon Link, Wolf, and Zero Suit Samus who is so fine. Going back to some of the new features in Brawl, let’s talk about Coin Launcher, Stage Builder, and Challenges. Challenges gave you specific missions to try and achieve and were behind glass cases that were shattered once you achieved the goal. Many of them were worthwhile and actually challenging and there was enough to try and obtain them all in a qualitative and quantitative fashion. Coin Launcher is a fun way to use the coins earned from fighting and using them to shoot at trophies to earn and add to your collection. The main theme variant for Coin Launcher is a fun arcade-type and Stage Builder has more of a lobby-like, concentration, relaxing kind of variant as you can build your own stage. Man I miss those days. I remember we used to have a sick stage called Alpha 215 which I’d play on with my brothers and cousins and kicking ass to the music of Vs. Meta Ridley. Those were the damn days friends. 7 points to Brawl.

Super Smash Bros Wii U/3DS

While not in any way bad, Wii U is sadly the Forgotten One. Because like I said, it’s just a beta version of SSBU. One cool thing about the game is the introduction of Omega-version stages which makes all stages flat like the Final Destination stage. Mii Fighters are cool I guess and you can also customize characters in it to make attacks stronger. I will give Wii U a point for having a more specific intensity setting that only gets harder the more you progress. 8-player smash is a cool new feature. More chaos and fun. Another point to Wii U. The additions to Home-Run Contest and the change of Trophy Coin Launcher to Trophy Rush don’t really bring anything new or funner (yes funner is a damn word) to the table. Event Mode allows for 2 players to cooperate together but the difficulty of Event Matches has gone down since Melee and are too easy. Challenges started to become ridiculous now because they didn’t feel unique and there were starting to be too many and most did not feel worthwhile. It was this game that started to feel like they scraping the bottom of the barrel for new characters i.e. Wii Fit Trainer, Rosalina, Duck Hunt, and Pac Man but others felt obviously justified like Mega Man, Greninja, and Little Mac. Another point to Wii U for separating Shiek and Zero Suit from Zelda and Samus and making them playable characters. 3 points for Wii U/3DS

Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Allllllllllllrighty then as Ace Ventura would say. Time to see if Ultimate is truly the ultimate. Right off the bat, the immense amount of stages that Ultimate has is 1 point. Also the fun but very competitive additions of Squad Strike and Smashdown. The Spirits thing is an acquired taste because it requires thinking and application and strategizing to a degree which is not something I’m keen on and yes it does take effort, call me lazy I don’t care but I can’t resonate with the Spirits so much as the trophies. The World of Light is cool but it takes waaaaay too much time and while I love to be sitting down playing a good videogame as much as the next guy, I’m not a serious gamer and my mild ADHD won’t allow for sitting for hour on end. Ok maybe 4-5 max but I do like doing other things and the WOL gets repetitive. I need change after a bit. I will give Ultimate a point for the huge amount of music it has which is so vast I don’t even know how many songs each level has. 104+ stages is insane but the downfall is not including Planet Zebes from SSB and Poke Floats from SSBM. Great new additional fighters include Dark Samus, Ridley, King K Rool, Ken and Ryu from Street Fighter, and more. Adding immensely popular DLC characters such as Sephiroth, Banjo, Sora, and Kazuya was a genius and inspired move. I’d give an extra point just for having Banjo added but for the sake of fairness he’ll be included among the others I mentioned. 4 points for SSBU.

And with that the rankings stand thus:

1st Place: SSBB= 7 points

2nd Place SSBM= 6 points

3rd Place SSBU= 4 points

4th Place SSBWU= 3 points

5th Place SSB= 1 point

P.S. Remember this is subjective so don’t “smash” me